Proverbs 25 17

Proverbs 25:17

ESV: Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house, lest he have his fill of you and hate you.

KJV: Withdraw thy foot from thy neighbour's house; lest he be weary of thee, and so hate thee.

NIV: Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house? too much of you, and they will hate you.

NKJV: Seldom set foot in your neighbor's house, Lest he become weary of you and hate you.

NLT: Don't visit your neighbors too often,
or you will wear out your welcome.

Meaning

Proverbs 25:17 advises thoughtful restraint in visiting one's neighbor. It highlights the principle that excessive familiarity, even with good intentions, can lead to the neighbor becoming overwhelmed or annoyed by your presence, eventually resulting in resentment or outright dislike. The verse teaches prudence in social interactions to preserve harmony and maintain healthy relationships by respecting personal boundaries and avoiding overstaying one's welcome.

Cross References

Context

Proverbs chapter 25 continues a collection of Solomon's proverbs, which were later compiled and copied by the men of King Hezekiah. This specific section (Prov 25-29) is notable for its emphasis on kingly matters, social wisdom, and prudence in daily life. The proverbs are often practical instructions for navigating social relationships and moral dilemmas. Verse 17 fits within this broader theme of social wisdom, offering guidance on maintaining healthy interpersonal boundaries, specifically concerning one's neighbors in a close-knit community setting of ancient Israel. The wisdom is practical for preventing relational friction and animosity.

Word analysis

• Let your foot: This is a figure of speech, a metonymy where "foot" represents one's presence or visits. It implies conscious control and decision-making over where and how often one goes. It's an active instruction, not a passive observation.
• be seldom: The Hebrew verb here (חֲשֹׁךְ, chashok) means "restrain," "hold back," or "withhold." It signifies making one's visits scarce or rare, exercising self-control to limit frequent appearances. It implies intentional discretion, not a total absence, but a measured presence that ensures one is desired, not endured.
• in your neighbor’s house: "Neighbor" (רֵעַ, re'a) refers not just to the person next door, but any close associate or friend. "House" signifies their private space, their personal domain, where prolonged or excessive presence might infringe upon their privacy and comfort. This phrase delineates the specific context for applying this wisdom – intimate, familiar relationships where overfamiliarity is a risk.
• lest he be weary of you: "Weary" (תַּשְׂבְּעֶךָ, tasb'ekha) literally means "to be full," "sated," or "to have one's fill of." It conveys the idea of someone being glutted or surfeited by another's presence, leading to boredom, annoyance, or even disgust. It points to a natural human reaction to oversaturation, a core aspect of social psychology.
• and hate you: "Hate" (וּשְׂנֵאֶךָ, uśnēʾeḵā) is a strong term. It denotes a deep dislike, aversion, or even active animosity, moving beyond mere annoyance to genuine enmity. This reveals the severe consequence of lacking wisdom in managing social presence – the potential destruction of a valuable relationship, turning it from familiarity to loathing.
• Let your foot be seldom in your neighbor's house: This entire phrase advises a prudent, moderate approach to social engagement. It's a preventative measure. It implies that being overly present devalues one's company and hospitality, akin to an excess of even a good thing becoming detrimental. Value is often amplified by scarcity.
• lest he be weary of you and hate you: This section clearly states the inevitable consequence of violating the preceding counsel. It highlights the predictive and cautionary nature of wisdom. The two verbs illustrate a progression from mild discomfort to strong rejection, emphasizing that even good relationships can sour quickly if boundaries are not respected and a sense of "space" is not granted.

Commentary

Proverbs 25:17 serves as a crucial guide for cultivating and preserving healthy social bonds. It’s a delicate balance between showing affection and hospitality and respecting personal boundaries. The proverb reminds us that while the Bible advocates for love of neighbor and hospitality, wisdom dictates the manner and extent of these interactions. Unchecked enthusiasm or thoughtlessness in frequent visits can inadvertently diminish the value of one's presence. Just as too much food can sate and turn one against it, too much of someone's company can become burdensome, leading from a feeling of being "fed up" to outright animosity. This wisdom applies not just to literal visits but to any form of excessive imposition on others’ time, resources, or personal space. It encourages sensitivity to others' needs, promoting a humble self-awareness that recognizes when one's presence might be taxing rather than comforting. The essence is to be valued, one must not be taken for granted.

Bonus section

The proverb implicitly advocates for a principle of 'sacred space' or 'personal domain,' suggesting that individuals, even neighbors, require a certain degree of privacy and autonomy in their own homes. This perspective predates modern psychological concepts of personal space but underscores an intuitive understanding of human relational dynamics. It serves as a practical counterpoint to a naive interpretation of the command to "love your neighbor as yourself," illustrating that true love for a neighbor also means understanding and respecting their need for occasional distance. It is not about isolation but about creating sustainable, appreciative relationships where presence is welcomed and cherished because it is not overextended. This proverb suggests that generosity, if unbounded by wisdom, can turn into a burden for the recipient.

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